Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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