VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Randomize
