Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
