You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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