In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
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