I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize