Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
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