Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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