Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
