like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
