try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
