Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
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