You can't motorboat a personality
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
