when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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