Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I need a burrito and a hug.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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