she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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