remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
