He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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