All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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