I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
Someone shattered a urinal.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
