problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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