Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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