I like my sex mixed with concussions.
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize