Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Sober January is a disaster.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
