I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
