Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
