i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
