I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize
