i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Randomize
