Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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