never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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