You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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