A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
