Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
