Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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