whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize