out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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