sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Yo dont text me then not text me
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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