You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Randomize
