Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
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