a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Randomize