Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
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