CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Randomize
