forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Randomize
