i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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