i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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