So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I touched a dick in church today
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize
