oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Randomize
