The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
