remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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