I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize