Buhtt sex?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
