Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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