You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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