its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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