so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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