Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
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