my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
