So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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