You're my little dorito
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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