Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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