420 ftw
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize