There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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