At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
