He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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