all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
foreskin is a definite game changer
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
