I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Small penises have feelings too.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
