What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
