something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
