these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you would pick up someone in the library
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I deserve this hangover.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Randomize
