I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
