Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Cookies and nudity, all you need in life
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
