it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
