at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
