Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Randomize
