What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Randomize
