if i can run in heels then i can drive
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
