Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Randomize
