he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
My vagina just clenched in fear
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
